“Normal” is your enemy
In today’s society, “normal” is our problem.
Let me explain.
Society considers these things normal:
- Long Working Hours and Few Hours For Living.
- Divorce Rates Are Through the Roof.
- Social Media Comparison.
- Horrible Diet Culture.
- Sedentary Lifestyles.
- Consumerism.
- Lack of Spirituality.
The list goes on and on.
Look around. Just about everybody lives this way. But it’s not our fault. For most of us, it’s all we know.
We do not have to stay this way.
We can do better. We can have greatness.
“Normal” is a trap. It’s like a script that the world hands you without asking if it aligns with your goals or your happiness. We’re sold this idea that following the crowd, keeping our heads down, and settling for what’s “good enough” is the path to a fulfilled life.
But deep down, you know this is not true.
You KNOW that you deserve more. And you’re not crazy for thinking that.
You’re not crazy.
Average is crazy.
You don’t have to cast your pearls before the swine. Because complacent minds won’t understand.
You have a whole life to go build.
They can laugh at your goals.
And they can party while you work.
They cannot see where you’re going.
But you’re on the way.
I know it’s not easy when you’re not seeing the results you want to see.
But you know what they say, “If it was easy, everybody would do it.”
I know it hurts when people talk down, but people are not the enemy. Most people just don’t understand that they’ve been trained to settle. It’s ingrained in our culture.
It’s all over our media. It’s in our small towns and in our cities.
People are not the enemy.
Normal is the enemy.
The way is set out before you.
But you have to make your own.
Let me be thorough and explain some of the negatives of the The Settle Mentality to really put things into perspective.
Here are some of the problems caused by settling for less than we deserve and following the path that’s given to us:
- Living To Work
- It crushes your soul and leaves little room for pursuing your passions, spending quality time with loved ones, or even enjoying yourself.
- Marriages and families suffer when work takes priority over everything else. When everybody is exhausted and disconnected, it’s easy for misunderstandings and resentment to build up.
2. Divorce Rates:
- Broken Homes: Divorce is becoming too common. Commitment is rare. Broken homes lead to damaged adults and kids that struggle to find stability and security. If you’ve been through it, you know what I mean.
- Emotional Fallout: The emotional toll of divorce is deep and it has an effect on everybody that’s involved. But it’s a symptom of a way bigger problem: the disconnect between our priorities and our lifestyle.
3. Social Media Comparison:
- The Comparison Trap: Social media creates a highlight reel of other people’s lives, and if you’re not happy with where you’re at, that can lead to feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with your own life, which only makes it worse. It can be empowering, or disempowering. It just depends on your perspective.
- The Illusion of Perfection: We see so many images of perfection, and that can lead to unrealistic expectations and a constant sense of not being able to keep up.
- Horrible Diet Culture:
- Unhealthy Relationships with Food: We overeat and never think anything about it because it’s normal. But it has so many negative effects on us.
5. Sedentary Lifestyles:
- Health Decline: A sedentary lifestyle leads to a host of health problems, from obesity to heart disease, and takes away from our quality of life.
- Loss of Vitality: Not being physically active enough actually drains our energy, decreases productivity, and limits our ability to enjoy life.
6. Consumerism:
- The Pursuit of Things: We’ve been conditioned to believe that getting more stuff will make us happy, but in reality, it mostly just leads to more debt, stress, and a never-ending cycle of wanting more. True happiness doesn’t come from things. It comes from purpose, relationships, and experiences. Consumerism distracts us from what really matters.
7. Lack of Spirituality:
- Disconnect from Purpose: In a world focused on material success, spirituality is neglected so much. This leads to a sense of emptiness and a lack of deeper meaning in life.
- Loss of Community: Spirituality normally leads to a sense of community and belonging, and that’s rare and needed for so many people today.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, but we see it everywhere we go. Because it’s normal.
As long as I can remember, I’ve questioned it all.
I would see people that were obviously not happy giving me advice on life.
When you’re young, they tell you that you can be anything you set your mind to.
But we don’t need words. We need examples.
All I saw was stress and settling for a lifestyle that didn’t look like something I’d be happy with.
And for most people, if they were able to sit down and be honest with themselves, they would say the same.
But everybody feels like they’re trying their best. And I believe that.
But maybe we’re trying at the wrong things. We are trying so hard at this path that leaves you running in place.
I think we have to play a completely different game.
We gotta get off the tracks we’ve been on and realize there’s another way.
It’s all we know.
But if somebody else can be truly happy and fulfilled, why not us?
We need to learn something different.
If you’ve read my book, NVR SETTLE, then you know I went through a really hard time that woke me up.
I was trying my hardest, but I was getting nowhere.
That’s where a lot of us are.
I finally got real about it, and figured I might need to let go of some of my old ways of thinking and take on some new ones.
I was broke, with a young family, hurt and betrayed. I was disappointed with the way life had turned out up to that point.
So I started taking control where I could and searching for answers.
Little by little, my thoughts and actions changed.
And now my identity has changed.
I refuse to play the game I used to play.
My standards are higher and I push myself to maintain those standards and consistently set new ones.
It’s not always easy, and I have so much further to go, but I refuse to settle.
I’m fighting the good fight, and I want the same for you.
To me, greatness doesn’t have to mean being rich with everything handed to you. Like I said, that doesn’t even make people happy. So many people have it all and still can’t find joy in life.
Greatness is fulfillment.
Fulfillment comes from being whole.
And being whole comes from things like freedom, purpose, love, and faith.
So, it's Greatness over normal.
It’s time to break some chains.
Here’s what you can do:
Choose Work that Aligns with Your Values:
- Purpose Over Paycheck: Do work that you’ll be happy with, that aligns with your values, and that doesn’t require you to sacrifice your time, relationships, or health. Money is important, but it’s not worth becoming a slave to it.
- Less Strain on Marriage and Family: When your work aligns with your values, it puts less strain on your marriage and finances. You’ll have more time and energy to invest in what truly matters.
2. Live Within Your Means:
- Prioritize Time Over Things: Would you rather have enough time and money to enjoy what you have? Or sacrifice your time to become a slave of the things that you don’t have the time to enjoy?
- Purpose is Better: Go ahead and make a lot of money, just don’t become a slave to it. Focus on creating a life of purpose, not just wealth.
3. Prioritize Relationships and Hobbies:
- Take Care of Your Connections: Invest time in your relationships. Prioritize family, friends, and hobbies that bring you joy and fulfillment.
- Create a Balanced Life: A life balanced with work, relationships, hobbies, and spirituality is a fulfilling life. Don’t let settling for “normal” take that away from you.
4. Question What’s Normal:
- Challenge the Status Quo: Don’t accept “normal” as your default setting. Question the things that most people do and decide for yourself what’s actually important.
- Be Bold: It takes courage to live differently, but it’s worth it. NVR SETTLE for a life that does not align with your values and passions. If somebody doesn’t like it, so what. They don’t know what you know. Be kind and pray for them.
5. Live BIG:
- Dream Big: Don’t be afraid to set big goals and dream big dreams. Let them laugh if they want to; when they laugh or talk down, it’s just a reflection of their own limitations.
- Take Action: Dreams without action are just fantasies. So go ahead and start taking steps toward your goals today, no matter how small they are because every step counts. And with each step, you’ll get stronger and more able to go even further.
Final Thoughts
Normal seems easy, but easy doesn’t lead to greatness. Normal is safe, but safety doesn’t lead to fulfillment. If you want to live a life of greatness, you have to be willing to step outside of your comfort zone, challenge the status quo, and NVR SETTLE for anything less than the life you deserve.
Live with purpose. Live with passion. Live BIG.
I hope you enjoyed that! I’m over here getting pumped.
This is the fire for me.
If you bought my book NVR SETTLE, I wanna know what you’re thinking!
I’m loving what I’m doing right now.
I’m trying to learn through all of my content what people like to see and hear and where I can help.
This is what I’m supposed to do!
If you’ve been checking it out, thank you so much!
If you’re new, welcome to the journey! I want the best for you.
It would mean so much if you would go leave a review on my book NVR SETTLE on Amazon and check out my website, zachbanes.com
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I hope you have a great rest of the week.
Until next time!
I’m your friend. I’m your brother. It’s ya boy,
Zach Banes